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Falling in Love with COPD

FALLING IN LOVE WITH COPD


So, this isn't the first time I have fallen in love... But, is the last time I do. Or did. Except for my baby girl Tiny.


And no, there is no one new in my life.


It all started about 11 years ago when a couple I am friends of mine owned their car sales lot... I used to go in and hang out with my my friend and we would talk about the guy that worked with them, who flirted with me every time I came in. We talked about what an amazing worker he was, handsome... Oh my! Great with kids, great at everything he did. How he would be a great husband and father one day.


He kept dropping hints about where he would be on a Friday or Saturday night, but I didn't bite. For months.



I was afraid... 


Somehow I knew that if I gave in, I would get hurt so bad.


One night, he said he would be at the little bar by my house and that I should come in and have a drink with him... I called a friend to see if she would mind going in there with me and she agreed. I remember walking in and his face lighting up. He said hi and turned a chair for me to sit, and I leaned in and kissed him. WHAT!!! What did I just do???? Never, ever, have I been so forward, or been the initiator. I impressed myself. LOL


Over that two years, he taught me how to drive a stick. He saved me from a fire!


The hottest thing any man has ever done for me, quite literally. I remember him yelling for me to get out, but I couldn't I was trapped in the payment office alone. Fire covering the entire garage floor, my only exit. I remember jumping up on the counter at the payment window, thick security glass keeping me in. The air around me whooshing past me as it caught fire, it was so loud!


I saw his friend running out yelling for him to "Get the girl out". Him running up to the window and me mouthing "get me out". Then, his head come crashing through the glass, his arm wrapping around my head and flinging me across the room next to the door. Him scooping me up and pulling me out the door. His clothing was ruined so I bought him new shoes, a t-shirt, a few pairs of jeans, shoes, and a hoodie as a thank you for saving me.


We made countless other memorable moments. One of my favorites was of us going out for breakfast and a table of older women were commenting on how handsome he was and his muscles... He rolled up his sleeve and let the lady kiss his arm ;) Things I will never forget.


Never have I been so heartbroken as when it became clear that we would no longer be together. He had moved out of state so it was fairly clear that there would be no reuniting. I had fallen so deeply in love with him. The only person I would ever fall in love with over the next 11 years would be the daughter I had with another man.



I absolutely never got over him.


Just a few weeks ago, I decided to add him on Facebook. A few days later a mutual friend died and he came here for the funeral. The last few weeks have been wonderful. It was strange to sit next to him and talk at first. Really talk. 


To have my beautiful five year old daughter fall in love with him, practically begging him to be her Dad. Embarrassing! LOL But she couldn't choose anyone better. He would be an amazing father. 

I have been working on him, flirting. Cooking my "reserved for special occasions" Parmesan crusted chicken and 6 cheese gnocchi. We all had some wine that night, a key ingredient in the meals preparation, I swear!


Well, somehow as we were walking later that night, I fell to my knees... HARD. And, being the gentleman he is, he helped me up asking if I was okay. Then, took me into the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit and started bandaging my knees and ankle. We had all had a few drinks and everyone was sleeping over. I messaged him, asking him to cuddle... You know, one last try?


He didn't even respond. But, teased me about it when he took me home the next day. Shot down again! LOL


So, I waited a few days and tried again. Another message with my special name for him, and asked him to come over and cuddle. He did ;) SQUEEE! We watched Pulp Fiction and cuddled for a while. Then he went back to our friends house to sleep. It felt amazing to be in his arms again. 


We have been talking and spending more time together the last few days. Today, he asked my daughter if she really wanted him to be her Dad... Of course she said yes... He asked me if I thought he would be a good Dad, of course I said yes as well.


He also told me that after all of these years he still had that hoodie I gave him after he saved me from the fire we were in ;) And, asked me if he is still my super hero... Of course he is, and forever will be.


If we are going to be together, logistics are going to be an issue with him living 800 miles away. But, for now he is here. And I intend to enjoy ever single moment I can with him.


This is also why I have been so absent. Not to mention, I have had a broken pinkie and have just now been able to type at all without seriously screwing things up. LOL



I can't stop smiling ;)







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